Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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