I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
