The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
