Jerry, you need to find god
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize