I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize