sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
