Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
accomplished twins. life is a go
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
