I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
