Need sex. Gaining weight.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
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