Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
