You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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