I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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