On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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