i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
