and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
