i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Is it because I queefed?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
