Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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