whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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