belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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