I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
