Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
not ubering you a puppy
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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