I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I came so hard my ears popped.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
