Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize