the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
