Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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