My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
