Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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