I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
