yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
