He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
