dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
