Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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