these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize