take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
