what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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