Well douche your snatch and let's go!
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
