yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
