I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
