thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
