If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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