who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
