grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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