Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
