her vagine was all disorganized.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
