You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
