I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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