I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
