Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
