shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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