Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
