Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
