woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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