Say something about gay babies.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
