Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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