If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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