Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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