Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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