carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
