i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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