well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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