whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
