Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
