I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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