would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
