that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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