Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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