that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
