i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
