So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
