does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
